I’d like to start off by saying that I take these kind of asks very seriously because it is relatable to me and is something I struggle with myself from time to time now. I don’t really know how to give advice for questions likes these because I am still learning myself. So I will talk about myself and how I deal with it.
I have social anxiety but I am dealing with it. At times when I am with friends and I feel totally invisible I just want to get up and just start running and one time I did. One time I went to a sushi buffet with friends, it was very loud and I sat at the far side of the table and couldn’t hear a thing, the things I could hear were things I didn’t have much to contribute in. I felt like I was going crazy; like I was all alone in a crowded room; like my existence wanted my body to leave but my body couldn’t. I kept going to the bathroom just to hear my own mind. Before dessert came, I paid my share of the bill and just got up without a reason and left and just started running. My friends called me but I didn’t pick up. When I was running, I felt free and a lot better. For a while after, I didn’t want to see my friends. I felt like a freak. I even missed a close friend of mines birthday with a bullshit reason and I really regret that.
I decided I needed to change. Like many people (like the people who complain about facebook friend on tumblr) I had many “friends” on facebook who I didn’t even talk to or was never even really close to. I decided I wanted to cut all those people off and only leave the people who I cared about and who cared about me, so I made a new facebook and only added them. Then I wrote. I wrote everything and anything. I wrote about things I wouldn’t tell people in person. I wrote about stuff like this post. I just wrote and wrote and I felt like everything I was holding back for so long was free. That I was finally free. That was my step 1 - Releasing all the unreleased emotions and figuring out who your true friends are.
Next, I needed some confidence in myself and to think positively. I had always considered myself to be a pessimist and honestly it’s bad to always think so negatively. How the hell can you ever have any confidence at all if you always think you will fail? So I decided to make a twitter and write positive advice to myself when I learned it. You’d be surprised how easy it is and freeing to just think positively. Even mistakes and failures become learning and teachable moments when you start learning from them and want to improve. That was my step 2 - Think positively and learn from your mistakes.
Lastly, and this is the hardest step, was to be more social. I had quit online gaming with my friends because well I am really not all that competitive and I kinda suck. I also stopped going to the gym with them because I rationalized to myself that I was content with my body and was going to focus on school and not worry about getting in a relationship. All those excuses for not doing something were pretty stupid. It’s easy to be content with who you are but if you want to be better that takes work. If you want to be more social, you need to do things with people. You need to be around people and talk. So I rejoined the gym and I started playing video games with my friends. Although I still have the same feelings and rational toward video games and the gym - I enjoy them more because I am with friends and am putting more effort in being social. This step is still a work in progress for me. So yeah step 3 - Put yourself in situations where you can be more social.
I’m not perfect and I still stumble but I am trying a lot harder. I apologize if I didn’t really answer the above questions but I don’t really know how without giving context of how I did so/am doing so in my own life. Thank you to anyone who actually took the time to read this.
This is my twitter if anyone is curious by the daily positive thoughts I meant: https://twitter.com/AyoMXmuzix